I spent the day in my "studio" hoping to fend off the feelings of despair at not being engaged in an art project at the moment, not being able or willing to go to the art opening at the community college, too cold -12 degrees, slim petro,(payday is a week away) and of course I have to work tomorrow. I acknowledge that I'm tired and feeling a bit under the weather.
I wrestled with getting a free printer up and running and have not succeeded at all, even with new drivers, test pages, etc. So now I get to save up for a new printer that I can afford; color bubble jet and the color cartridges/ink etc. that are part of the ownership of "things" especially electronic computer type things.
I'm so doing my best to avoid self-pity and frustration. Life management skills continue to elude me. I do have a positive balance in my saving and checking account .35 cents and 1.00. But no over drafts, and the possibility of funds from my art patron for auto stuff, and direct payment of my 2nd and 3rd musts for survival phone and storage after the 20th, along with auto maintenance funds. I have sent my resume out to a contact from Panera who is a district manager for a storage company. I have miles to go to get the rest of my information on to the Navy's web site as well as the VA job site. I have been paying lip service with no actions taken to getting my next job. This must stop. Progress not perfection. And so it goes.
I am feeling ready to take my shower, get into my clean bed and read for a bit. Tomorrow is another work day and then home to wash my hair, make a bit of art and get ready to go to meeting for worship on first day. Mind, body and spirit work is hard, on-going and necessary to breathe. I believe, have faith, more art will be revealed. Love for now.
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