A Winter Morning's Prayer

"Lord, make me a channel of thy peace—that where there is hatred, I may bring love—that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness—that where there is discord, I may bring harmony—that where there is error, I may bring truth—that where there is doubt, I may bring faith—that where there is despair, I may bring hope—that where there are shadows, I may bring light—that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted—to understand, than to be understood—to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen."

-Saint Francis of Assisi Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions page 99

I began this day unlike more recent days; Morning affirmations by@ Deb Erickson, @Deva Premal's Dakshina as I mindfully made  my morning tea, tidied the kitchen, such that my sense of order was restored. I repaired a storage bag in the effort to get my drawing art area in my living room ready for the gift of art that the Most High has given me to do. It is the reason that I breathe.

When I viewed my final paycheck I had to calm down the lack thinking, a fear genie that likes to show up when I am not working and regular cash flow stops. I made an effort to get the thoughts out of my head, to not stop me from moving forward in the days plans and tasks. Hence, I am writing a note to myself, to work out on the page so to speak. Then I will do my morning yoga and prepare to go out into the world.

I'm deeply grateful to have enough room to roll out the mat, a big enough TV to see the postures that @MundeleinMarlene Molay Brown's "Yoga a Gift to yourself" has for my  sometimes tired, older bones and joints than I'd care to admit to do. It also helps to not regret the younger, vibrant body I had as a dancer and all of the supple and lovely gifts of a body in their 20's and 30's, rats, even in my 40's could do. And to not regret how I "wasted those gifts' and yet I know I did not.

It is the gentle loving acceptance of this body, these joints and loving them as they are in their current wholeness. I am fortunate that I had that well toned, sleek and agile body, It is the foundation of what I have to work with, BE with now. And it is in pretty good shape for a 59 year old babe. I have to honor that too.

Yet strangely enough I feel acceptance for what is the current state of greenbacks and loving forward motion to just be with what I have.  I am honored by my friends and family to be the loving aunt, sister, friend. That does not mean that all is "well" Rent is due, phone cable/internet, car note, the stuff of living in the 21st century. But I do not need to fear. I have an unshakeable belief that "all will be well, in all manner of things will be well" (Hildegard of Bingen, a consistent spiritual friend of mine)

And so it goes. Gratitude for having the modern means of writing, though I love pen and ink, and fine paper to write upon. It is the gratitude of stopping and taking the time to get these thoughts on the page. It is an abundance of Love that keeps me going each day. Blessed Be and blessings on your day. More is always revealed, we just have to keep our eyes on the prize. 

It has been a long haul to now.

What do I mean by this? My last post was in 2011, before the Christmas holiday "madness". In the intervening months I have: packed up my studio and apartment, placed my life into a storage locker,  moved into the very gracious home of a friend temporarily in Mundelein, IL, and helped pack up one the most glorious creative oasis, Bella Beads as well.


There is a whole lotta endings going on. The weight of all of this combined with the memory of my mom's passing 12 years ago, the death of a young soul in my extended family (a 22 year old, by his own hand) and the loss of a few sober friends, 2 to natural causes, 2 to not so sure, has left me reeling with the fragility and relentlessness of Life.


I imagine I could whine about the challenges of living in Lake County IL without a car, not finding a job as of yet, being so underfunded by my unemployment that I cannot afford, apartment, car, new glasses or even a new pair of gym shoes that would make the search easier on foot; but that would serve me (nor God/dess) not.  I see the richness of my relationships with friends, I have not missed a meal yet, and I am grateful that I can still see with the specs that I have, can get around by asking for help and being willing to walk in the shoes I do have


It is a matter of perspective.
When living in a "slump"  mildly depressed, occasionally anxious, restless and discontent I have no other choice but to trust in my Higher Power, the God/dess of my understanding who holds all loving magic.  I can be faithful to the gifts I have and the gifts and well being to come. And so I continue to seek the inspirational, to live the majesty of each day in this creation.  I must not, cannot doubt that all will be well, even when I cannot see it in front of me. . 


My work with Zentangles and Zentangle inspired art continues to keep me actively in meditation, aware of the infinite small beauties the intersections of Art and Spirituality that continues to fuel this Grand Ole Girl. It allows me to keep this very personal blog of sorts even as I learn about Linked In and how to join Pinterist and post imagery that I wish I had created until I can post imagery that I have created.  
And yes the sun is bright and Phoebe the wet nose therapy dog makes me laugh and snuggle with much joy.
It is what is in front of me, it is what holds the bonds of life to me. 


The Spiritual realm is. I honor the place that I have in it. I know that I am not the only artist who has been here in this space.  I also know that this too shall pass. Funny how the slip stream slogans can hold you in their loving arms and cause you to smile in that knowingness of loving truth.


It is Easter weekend, Osterea for this pagan girl, the Martin Luther King memorium and the continued rising of Life after the dark of Winter.  Let me be clear, I honor all of it, all of the expressions of the Divine's magnificence. It too is what keeps me whole and strong through the Long Hauls on the road of living.
Merry meet, merry met, merry meet again. Blessed Be1

Enchante ma cher, or Zentangle infused thoughts

 Enchante,
I have fallen for a simple pen, pencil method of art and spirituality meditation work. See www.zentangles.com for the clear definitions.

Wisdom and Love 2011

Assunta and chillion practice page from sketch book

first attempts with Pais and one that seemed to reveal itself to as fledgling Chinese Dragon

Getting text into my blog page is also a new lesson. Each of these pieces cam about with no pre-planned idea.  I have found that it is a form of "yoga" for my mind. This is the beginning of a fascinating journey that is being infused within a lot of my 2-D graphical work. I have often been very hesitant to show my work and that was living in a fear based model. Fortunately with the help of friends, I have been encouraged to put my work out and appreciate the gift that the Divine has given and learn how to share it with others. This is good. I am grateful. And, I am enchanted my dear, my life has become zentangled and more clarity in spirit. Peace.

New tangles, SOCC at the bottom,and  mist and others as my patience progresses

Finding my way or Scared witless

Way too long since I have posted anything at all on my blog. Living life on life's terms continues to have it's way. And I continue to be in the construct of jobless, not enough in the unemployment check, car returned to my gracious brother (who kept me in wheels as long as he could), which is a perfect step over to, Damn I'm scared for the future. I don't live in the realm of self pity, but Damn I'm scared for my future at this moment.

When the income coming in does not equal your rent, food, transportation and simple non-edible necessities; there is no savings to fall back on and my family have helped as much as they can how am I supposed to feel?

The relentless search for real, viable honest work at a decent living wage is now the next quest.
I must get over the malaise of hating the computer as a means of applying on line. That soulless, repetitive application after application to the faceless "job sites". There is no courtesy of even a reply that they got your application. As my friend Gwen said, "this is hard work." And I don't like the feeling of just how hard and just how tough it is. My head goes to, Am I tough enough, (or smart enough or capable enough?)

Today is Samhein, the end of the Great Wheel of Life calendar, the time when the veil between the worlds is at its thinnest. My marker to the ancestors times and a day of reckoning with Great Spirit.

I deeply choose to affirm the legacy of my forebears, and ask for their continued aid in shaking the "technophobia" the genuine fearful stupor that will paralyze me into non-action.

It has been a day of not even being able to make up my mind as to what I am suppose to eat, much less positive action to getting the next job.

Let me end this with my gratitude list for the day, simply because I do not feel that this is a state of forever blue.

I am grateful for:

The loving and compassionate hearts of many of my friends.

My deep prayerful and rich spiritual life.

The ability to write it (whatever IT, insert your scary monsters here) out of my system.

The collard greens and ham slice in my fridge that is dinner.

Art supplies in my home to continue to make something, anything to the glory of Goddess' gifts to me of being an artist.

The awareness that I can live this life ODAAT sober, and with enough goodness to come out on the other side of the fears and anxiety.

I will try to not take so long to write here, as this lightens my heart.

Blessed Be! Merry Meet, and Merry met and Merry meet again!

Born to Run or Angels Unaware, is it a coin flip?

Ummm Bruce Springsteen or Carrie Newcomer? Is this about fear or recognition of both? "Baby we were born to run", from reponsibility, holding onto the last moments of freedom of youth? Carrie Newcomer reminding us that at any moment in time we may have an angel near or we may become an angel unawares for the good that we hope to do or be.

It feels that I am in an interesting spot right now of learning lessons of how others who aren't as "educated" as I, (but equally smart in other ways) live a life full of the richness and power of the Divine through all of the hardnesses and tough places life hands us.

Being part of a community that values each human/soul as best as they can is the true measure of living in community, seeing the other soul as one and the same as my own soul is also a measure of the Divine's Grace currently acting within my consciousness.

Carrying a sacred fragment of music that soothes the divisive voices of the external world into the realm of the Divine Interior is what I have to keep in right order.

Thus, do I find myself hearing melodies, glimmers of poetry and sometimes raucous ribaldery to amuse and soothe and offer Praises to the Most High. Gratitude for being able to hear and be at one with the Divine. Blessings for the tools that keep me sane and whole.

Short note from the Land of Mis-placed Toys.

I am at the daily bread job that does not entail real bread any longer. I've moved from the Land of Bread literally into the Land of the Cart. Manufacturing that does not take place in our actual facility and does take place in Taiwan, China mainland, and parts of the United States.
Where have all the good jobs gone?
Gone to the best possible price for Labor that could be found.

So, I am in a job that barely pays a living wage, deeply grateful that it is a paying job with full hours Monday through Friday.

What's a college educated, wise woman to do.

Live in the faith walk that has been handed to me; continue to take actions to a deeper level of security. Believe that all is well in the Divine's intentions for me and love everyone who comes my way.
That is the blessing I suppose, to be able to see this and act within it and patiently wait for the next right action within this Now and life that I have been given.
It is the mid-term election day and I have promised myself to live in acceptance of what will be ( and we don't know that until it is all over now do we?)
Blessings as always my friends on the journey.

A Saturday with blessing!

Going on almost 18 years ago, newly, barely sober and a firm believer then as I am now that Knitting In Public (KIP) is a fine and time honored activity that has been around and accepted for thousands!!! (did I say thousands) of years. I began to make connections with women and men who were of a similar mind.

There just are not enough hours a day sometimes to share with not knitting. Committee meetings come to mind and occasionally lectures in particular. And then of course there are the train rides and waiting in line moments as well. I met my friend Anne during one such moment in the basement of a a safe place where my eccentricities did not matter, just my desire to stop drinking were valid and my ability to sit still was deeply questioned and taxed, but I knew that my yarn would keep me engaged with other's "yarns" of how they came to believe in living one day at a time.
Sometimes they were long winded, sometimes they were short, pithy, to the point that would/could cause me to sit up and really hear them. It seemed as though the counter voices in my head were stilled long enough to be able to take in their voices and learn, retain some one fact that enabled me to go on another day, without mind alteration of the negative kind.
It is how I met my friend Leslie and a wonderful KIPPer, as she brought souls to yet another meeting to help them along in a new way of life. It broke the ice that melted any reservations we might have had to become the friends we are now.

Now fast forward to today if you will; and I remember how that one act of private (contemplation in a public way, rebellion, focus, not sure but I know it was all I had at that point in time) had a period of being stilled (frowned upon, just not done in "that sponsorship line")

Imagine my recent joy at finding a women's group where the act of repetition is honored, celebrated in a quiet way, welcomed not as an act of rebellion but, as an act of necessary faith that creating brings joy to others, a deeper conscious contact with the Divine and many hours of loving work by hand and heart.

For this I am eternally grateful for KIP being an ongoing part of my life. As always Blessings and a shout out to the F/friends who Enrich my life just by their presence.